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Be Career Smart – not just “nice”

Title – Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office
Author – Lois Frankel

Happy International Women’s Day!

Women have achieved so much in the last 50 years in terms of breaking the glass ceiling, conquering water and space, but we still have a long way to go. And if there is one book, I could recommend to all my young friends, nieces and any female I care about – this would be it! This brilliant book is packed with more than 150 mistakes women make at work and the practical ways to stop doing the things that really hold them back.

This book is something every woman should read, whether you are fresh out of college, or already in a high-ranking successful career. There are so many pearls of wisdom, it is amazing. For most readers, you will feel convinced that you make every single mistake in the book (or have done in the past!) Do NOT worry, awareness is half the battle, we can only correct what we know!

SCORE: 4.5* out of 5

To be honest, this book easily deserves a 5 on 5. However, I disagree quite a lot with the “How You Look” Section. To me some of the advice seems a little outdated, especially if you work in tech roles. However, I totally agree with the author that it is better to err on the side of conservative dressing, at least in the beginning of your career. You can choose to stand out for your dress sense or style after you’ve established your brand beyond question. Nasdaq CEO Adena Friedman, mentioned something very similar in one of her townhalls I attended (as an employee), and she is the leader of the largest stock exchange platform and one of the biggest fintech companies in the world.

Aside from this short qualifier, I have nothing but praise for the rest of the book. Indeed, the gist of the book is to play to your feminine strengths, while making you aware of common career mistakes that derail your career in subtle but concrete ways. I’ve made many of these and sadly seen many wonderful women get stalled in their careers for the same reasons, while other (men) overtake them to extraordinary heights. Women often never reach their full potential due to what I like to call “Death by a thousand cuts” – small mistakes here and there. Just one or two won’t hurt you, but like compound interest, over a period of 10 years, they make a huge and NEGATIVE difference.

I have the audiobook version, and honestly the author’s narration sounds like a conversation with my favorite aunt or a strong and honest mentor. I’ve read the paperback version but loved the audio format much more for this very reason. Plus, its easy to listen to audio at 2X speeds and while I am doing manual chores like cleaning, traveling or just for a quick 2-minute dose of inspiration and pointers before an important presentation!

Nice AND successful! Avoid tactics that subtly sabotage your career.

Some Takeaways (mistakes) that Resonated with me personally:

  • #1 – Pretending It Isn’t a Game. #2 – Assuming the Rules are the same for Everyone.
  • #3 – Pinching Company Pennies. I stopped doing this very recently, and no one cared or asked why! Not even the finance department!
  • #24 – Polling Before a Decision. I do this a lot, so I sometimes must bite my tongue and assume silence is a sign of no objections.
  • #33 – Denying the importance of Money. Job satisfaction is important but earning top $ is a sure-shot way of skyrocketing motivation!
  • #44 – Making Miracles.
  • #56 – Ignoring the Importance of Network Relationships. Similarly, #17 – unwilling to capitalize on relationships.
  • #66 – Waiting to be Noticed.
  • #77 – Couching statements as Questions.
  • #85 – Using Qualifiers
  • #120 – Tolerating Inappropriate Behavior. On the same vein, is #15 – Protecting Jerks.

Overall, must read. If you mentor women or girls, or want to give a graduation gift for a female in your circle, then this book will be perfect!

Similar Works:

Books – Lean In, By Sheryl Sandberg. How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back from your Next Raise, Promotion, or Job; by Sally Helgesen. Girl, Stop Apologizing; by Rachel Hollis. Secrets of Six Figure Women, by Barbara Stanny. Own it, by Sallie Krawcheck.

Movies – Late Night (2019), Joy (2015), The Associate (1996).  

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Presence – Amy Cuddy

Title – Nice Girls Still Don’t Get the Corner Office
SubTitle – Bringing your Boldest Self to your Biggest Challenges
Author – Amy Cuddy

From brain trauma accident survivor to Harvard professor to TED talk speaker with million viewers! Who would not want to listen to an author with such an incredible rags-to-riches story?

This is an amazing book, and once you start reading you will quickly realize why the book landed on the Amazon bestseller list, and the talk garnered 30+ million views on a generic topic like “confidence”.

SCORE: 4.5* out of 5

Some of the concepts may seem like common sense or something your grandmother would advise you – sit up straight, don’t hunch, etc. But here are some unique concepts to pique your interest:

[a] Wonder Woman or starfish Pose
[b] Nudging – how small changes can bring out large gains!
[c] iHunch (serious concept with a hilarious name)
[d] Fake it till you become it! Dealing with impostor syndrome.

Personal stories

The book certainly is filled with anecdotes from struggling actors who landed coveted Hollywood roles, homeless person, introverted kids giving public presentations, women leaders and so much more! It’s a self-help guide and a leadership training book for rookies and a motivational speech all rolled into one!

But I personally related very well to the book, because I have my own stories that prove the methods in the book work. Don’t ask me why, the reasons are listed in the book. All I care is that they miraculously work!

Here are some personal stories that make me believe in the book, 100%!

[a] Fearless girl – Have you seen the sculpture of the “Fearless girl” facing the massive Wall Street bull? Just the thought alone makes me feel more confident as a woman. My 7-year old niece always stands this way and she recently was awarded a memento at school for exemplary leadership in class, despite having changed school in the middle of the year, and only being there for 3 months! 🙂
[b] Lucrative jobs interviews – A colleague confessed to trying out the “wonder woman” pose minutes before her interview for a competitive technical position at Nasdaq, the megalith fintech exchange! She landed the lucrative at a salary range far higher than she imagined. She admits the pose might not have been the tipping factor, but she is convinced she eliminated the “desperate” vibes that unemployed jobseekers unconsciously give that had been holding her back until then!
[c] Shrinking violet – take up your available space! When my mom returned after a 2-month trip caring for my ailing grandmother, neighbors and colleagues remarked that she looked “shrunken” and every bit her normal short 5 feet 5 inches frame. In truth, this is a far cry from the joyous personality who has made 6+ feet students quaver in fear! Interestingly, I’ve been told I look taller after I published my book and took a leadership role last year. Maybe confidence does make you taller and more attractive!

Boost your confidence – for the moments that matter!

Who will benefit the most?

This is not just a self-help book, and even though I have it listed under my “women” section, the book was not targeted solely for women.

So who all can benefit?

  • You are a stay at home or unemployed jobseeker, anxious about returning to the workplace and being unable to cope up.
  • Kids (or adults) who have been bullied or feel excessively shy.
  • Anyone with mental health, depression or anxiety issues.
  • Women of color, or anyone from a minority group who is eager to take their career to the next level, but facing feelings of “impostor syndrome”
  • Grad student stepping into a researcher or first professor role.
  • College students embarking on their first jobs.

I’ve already recommended this as a MUST-READ to all my mentees. This will also make an excellent graduation gift to students and young professionals!

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